August 2024: Barking to the Choir

what kinship looks like on texas death row:

When me and Ali my bookclub partner decided to read Barking To The Choir, she suggested that I write a second post about what kinship looks like on Texas death row. I liked the idea and agreed to do so.

I am a singer/writer/artist who has been on Texas death row for twenty five years. I was wrongfully convicted for a crime that I am innocent of. My purpose in life is to share my songs and creations with other souls and shine rays of love, light and positivity into their lives. Being on Texas death row for a crime that I did not do is the worst thing that has ever happened to me, but does not define me.

The day I was given the death penalty my old life ended. Since then, every day that I've seen has been extra after having this death experience. Now, each morning is a gift, a blessing that the Lord has give me and I have to show up every where in every situation with who I am. Living in gratitude thereby transforming suffering and sadness into joy and delight.

When I received the death penalty I was freed as the scales began to fall from my eyes, seeing through the illusion, the nonsense and for the first time understanding what really matters in life. This freedom is available to everyone, but it's a choice you have to make. I choose to live in gratitude and freedom because this is my power and how I reclaim what was stolen from me when I was sentenced to death.

In December 2021, I participated in the first ever class of faith based program on Texas death row. Creating the original faith based program on A pod was an amazing, life transforming experience. We took a place that was filled with death, darkness and suffering and made it into an environment of worship, love and light. A safe space where we learned to remove the numbness that come from the continued trauma we experience and wear as armor. A place to heal and become the men we were destined to be. A place that would become to be known as "Life Row" because so many spirituality and emotion dead men found life.

In case you don't know, prison is a an negative, loud, violent, awful place. It is everything that it's depicted as on TV and how Texas death row was before the faith based program. When we began to get in touch of our spiritual selves and those withered parts inside of us began to be revived, we decided we wanted to create an environment that fostered the healing process and for the first time discover our true selves. We learned to love ourselves and each other, we come to realize that healing is experiencing a kind of hope, moving forward because our healing requires it. Intuitively understanding that something deep inside of us (our everlastingly immortal soul!) wants us to keep living. This falling awake process is us reconnecting with hope.

What does kinship look like on Life Row? On Wednesday August 7,2024, Author Burton is scheduled to be executed. All weekend long the field ministers have been on death watch with the men who have active execution dates, especially brother Burton. They're with him to let him know that we as a community honor his suffering. We honor what he is experiencing and we are here with him witnessing it and allowing our hearts to break with him.

In Barking To The Choir, the author tells the story about a kid named Carlos who come to the United States from El Salvador when he was a two-year-old in his mother's arms. He got in trouble, went to prison and was deported.

Months later, Carlos called G to tell him that he was back in Los Angeles and needed to see him. Father Greg knew him as a chubby kid. The man before him was gaunt, but not from drugs, which was usually the reason for such and appearance.

Carlos had been on the most perilous odyssey, a months long saga filled with harrowing stops and starts. He made it to somewhere in Mexico, where a gang of robbers not only took what little money he had, but stripped him naked and left him alone. Somehow, Carlos managed to tip toe to a tiny Mexican village, hands shielding his genitals, darting between trees, then darting some more. His torso was covered with gang tattoos. When villagers began to notice him, he explained that he'd been robbed. Villager after villager began to hand him pieces of clothing. After some time, there he stood, in the middle of no-damn-where, fully clothed with other people's kindness. He was so overwhelmed by the fact that no one denied him or turned him away. Carlos said, "I made a promise, like a vow, I would be kind from now on because of these people's kindness to me."

That story reminds me of life row. When Tracey Beatty was given an execution date he was insane. He would stand at his cell door for 6, 8, even 10 hours straight screaming at imaginary enemies, cursing and fighting with them. He was crazy. He'd been crazy for at least ten years. But when he was moved to A pod, brothers did not deny or reject him. They were kind to him instead. The community as a whole loved on Trey and he flourished, coming back from the dead and regaining his sanity. He accepted the Lord as his Savior and on his last day he left singing Amazing Grace.

That is what kinship look like to me on Life Row. Kinship here is understanding that everyone everywhere is your brother or sister and that we are a community. Father Greg says community is the singular place where patience and steadiness can be practiced, and gratitude can be nurtured. G says there is a Navajo conception that a criminal is one who acts as if he has no family. I really feel that, how are you going to hustle or rob another if everyone is your family?

Kinship creates a sanctuary that nurtures being kind, loving and compassionate to each other and that's how we strive to live on Life Row because this is who we have become.

I loved Barking To The Choir. I loved every story G shared in it and the opportunity to create some artwork that was inspired by this book. I hope that you have enjoyed it too and that it becomes a favorite of yours as well!